Ready to laugh your butt off? 🍑 Whether you’re into cheeky puns, bottom-line humor, or just need a good ol’ crack-up, you’re in for a wild ride! From classic donkey jokes to hilarious rear-end one-liners, this collection of 300+ ass jokes is locked, loaded, and ready to burst into your funny bone.
Perfect for sharing with friends—or keeping all to yourself when you need a laugh that really hits the… backside.
😏 Let’s dive into the funniest, sassiest, and most unexpectedly brilliant jokes you’ll read all day!
🎤 Wakka Wakka Who Wants to Hear a Funny Ass Joke
- 😂 I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
- 🤡 Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- 🧠 I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- 🦄 Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- 🧊 I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- 🎩 Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
- 🐓 What do you call a chicken staring at a salad? Chicken Caesar salad.
- 💼 I told my boss I needed a raise. He said, “That’s above your pay grade.”
- 🪞 What did the mirror say to the wall? “You reflect way too much.”
- 🧃 I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- 🕺 I named my dog Five Miles so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
- 🌪️ The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
- 🎈I’d tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
- 🪜 Don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
- 🧀 Cheese jokes are grate, especially when they’re mature.
🐒 Waka Waka Who Wants to Hear a Funny Ass Joke
- 🍌 Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal.
- 🎶 I told a joke about a roof. It went over everyone’s head.
- 🧻 Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
- 💡 Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- 🕷️ What’s Spider-Man’s favorite type of rice? Uncle Ben’s.
- 🚿 I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
- 🧤 I asked my glove if it wanted to hang out. It gave me the cold shoulder.
- 🎃 Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits.
- 🎨 I asked the painter if he could draw a laugh. He said, “I’ll sketch one up.”
- 🐠 What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
- 🔥 I once burned 2,000 calories. I left my pizza in the oven.
- 🐦 Why do birds fly south? It’s faster than walking.
- 🍽️ I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
- 🦵 I broke my leg in two places. The doctor said, “Stop going to those places.”
- 🛏️ I used to hate sleeping, but now it’s my dream job.
🤪 A Funny Ass Joke
- 🧃 I told my fridge a joke. Now it’s running.
- 🛍️ My shopping cart and I have a lot in common—we both lose it sometimes.
- 🦀 I’m so crabby, even lobsters avoid me.
- 🕰️ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- 📦 I told a joke in a box factory. It didn’t land—too much cardboard humor.
- 🎯 I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.
- 🎬 My acting career is like my coffee—always in the background.
- 🏴☠️ I asked the pirate for a joke. He said, “Arrrr you ready?”
- 💃 I did the worm at a wedding. Now I need a chiropractor.
- 🚴 I used to ride my bike to lose weight. Then I lost my bike.
- 👀 I saw my reflection and said, “Now there’s a guy who tells good jokes.”
- 🎤 Why did the microphone break up with the speaker? Bad communication.
- 🐍 Why don’t snakes tell jokes? They’re too hiss-terical already.
- 🥶 My winter jokes are snow good.
- 🛫 Airplane food jokes are plane ridiculous.
🗣️ Who Wants to Hear a Funny Ass Joke
- 📞 I called my boss to say I was sick. He said, “We all are.”
- 🪦 Why did the zombie avoid comedy night? He had dead humor.
- 🧽 My sponge told me a joke. It was soaking with sarcasm.
- 🏠 Why did the couch go to therapy? It had deep-seated issues.
- 🧹 I swept my room with a joke. It cleaned up well.
- 🐶 Why did the dog sit in the shade? It didn’t want to be a hot dog.
- 🦠 My virus told a joke. Now it’s going viral.
- 📚 Why are libraries the best at roasting? They got all the burns bookmarked.
- 🧊 I dropped an ice cube joke. It slipped right by.
- 🧃 Why did the juice box get rejected? It wasn’t pulpular.
- 🧱 I told a wall a joke. It said, “Brickin’ hilarious.”
- 🚽 Toilet jokes always go down well.
- 🧀 Mac and cheese jokes are the cheesiest.
- 🥕 Why don’t vegetables tell jokes? They get roasted.
- 🍕 Pizza jokes always deliver.
🤓 Tell me a Funny Ass Joke
- 🎤 I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- 🧠 I told my brain to chill. It replied, “Define chill.”
- 🕹️ Why did the gamer break up with the console? No more playing around.
- 🥸 I told a joke while disguised. No one recognized my humor.
- 🧼 Soap jokes are clean fun.
- 🍩 I donut want to stop laughing.
- 🔧 Why did the wrench tell a joke? It wanted to loosen up the mood.
- 📷 I told my camera a joke. It snapped.
- 🖨️ Printer jokes have good output.
- 🍳 I cracked an egg with a joke. It couldn’t take the yolk.
- 🧃 Smoothie jokes blend right in.
- 🪐 I told a space joke—it was out of this world.
- 🔋 My battery jokes keep going and going.
- 🧃 Capri-Sun jokes always get sucked up.
- 🎮 Controller jokes really push my buttons.
🎯 Conclusion
Whether you’re dropping jokes in a group chat or looking to laugh off the stress, these funny ass jokes are your go-to stash. No matter your humor style—random, ridiculous, or razor-sharp—this list delivers nonstop laughs. Bookmark it, share it, or come back anytime your vibe needs a lift!
