If you’re looking to lighten the dugout or hit a homerun at your next social gathering, you’ve landed at the right base! Our collection of hilarious baseball jokes is perfect for fans, players, and even the occasional spectator.
Whether you love dad humor, cheeky adult lines, or good old-fashioned knock-knocks, we’ve got your sense of humor covered.
This post serves up short, funny, and clean-to-not-so-clean jokes all centered around the great American pastime.
So grab your glove and get ready—these punchlines are pitching straight for your funny bone!
⚾ Baseball Dad Jokes One-Liners
- 😂 Why was the baseball team always in trouble? Because they kept getting caught stealing!
- 😄 I told my wife she was like a baseball team—always throwing fits.
- 🤣 I only date baseball players… they know how to score.
- 😆 My kid asked if I had a job. I said, “I coach Little League—that’s 24/7 stress.”
- 😂 What’s a dad’s favorite pitch? A groanball.
- 😄 Why don’t baseball players tell secrets? Too many signs!
- 🤣 Baseball dads don’t have gray hair—they have outfield highlights.
- 😆 What’s a dad’s dream? A beer in one hand and his kid hitting a homer.
- 😂 Why do baseball dads yell at clouds? They’re always raining out practice!
- 😄 What’s a baseball dad’s favorite movie? Field of Screams.
- 🤣 I bought a baseball bat for peace of mind—just in case my kid’s team loses again.
- 😆 Why do dads love curveballs? It reminds them of life—unpredictable.
- 😂 Baseball dad tip: If you can’t be athletic, be loud.
- 😄 My dad doesn’t play fantasy baseball—he argues with the ump in real life.
- 🤣 You know you’re a baseball dad when your glove has more oil than your car.
🚪 Knock Knock Baseball Jokes
- 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
⚾ Pitcher
👤 Pitcher who?
⚾ Pitcher the ball already! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🧢 Bat
👤 Bat who?
🧢 Bat you can’t hit this! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🥎 Ump
👤 Ump who?
🥎 Ump gonna call you out! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🧤 Glove
👤 Glove who?
🧤 Glove to play ball! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🏟 Dugout
👤 Dugout who?
🏟 Dugout of the game! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🌧 Rain
👤 Rain who?
🌧 Rain delay again? - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🧢 Cap
👤 Cap who?
🧢 Cap me out, coach! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
⚾ Fielder
👤 Fielder who?
⚾ Fielder the questions later! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🧦 Socks
👤 Socks who?
🧦 Socks it to the ball! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
👟 Cleats
👤 Cleats who?
👟 Cleats me alone! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🥎 Pop
👤 Pop who?
🥎 Pop fly incoming! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🎯 Strike
👤 Strike who?
🎯 Strike three—you’re out! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🧢 Coach
👤 Coach who?
🧢 Coach me if you can! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🧢 Helmet
👤 Helmet who?
🧢 Helmet me out here! - 🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🏏 Swing
👤 Swing who?
🏏 Swing low, sweet fastball!
🇺🇸 Tell Me a Baseball Joke in English
- 😂 Why did the baseball player get arrested? He stole second!
- 😄 Baseball is the only place where stealing is encouraged.
- 🤣 I tried to date a baseball player—but she kept throwing me curveballs.
- 😆 What’s a baseball player’s favorite dessert? Bunt cake.
- 😂 Why are umpires such good listeners? They never miss a call.
- 😄 What do you get when you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
- 🤣 Why do baseball players make great musicians? They have the perfect pitch.
- 😆 I told my bat a joke. It cracked up.
- 😂 What do baseball players eat before a game? The plate.
- 😄 Why did the pitcher bring string to the game? To tie the score.
- 🤣 My glove talks. It told me to catch a break.
- 😆 Baseball isn’t just a game—it’s a way to avoid chores.
- 😂 What’s the loudest position in baseball? The catcher—always behind the plate.
- 😄 Why did the baseball go to therapy? It felt thrown around.
- 🤣 I asked a pitcher if he was single. He said, “Only when I’m on the mound.”
💬 Tell Me a Baseball Joke One Liners
- 😂 I used to be a pitcher, but I couldn’t handle the pressure.
- 😄 My fastball’s like Wi-Fi—fast but unpredictable.
- 🤣 Home is where the plate is.
- 😆 A triple play is like a unicorn—magical and rare.
- 😂 Baseball taught me one thing: always expect a curve.
- 😄 My glove’s been through more than my relationships.
- 🤣 Strikeouts build character… and break hearts.
- 😆 I’d bunt for tacos.
- 😂 Every pitch is a life choice.
- 😄 My bat has better timing than me in conversations.
- 🤣 Outfielders: catching dreams since forever.
- 😆 I played baseball for the snacks.
- 😂 Baseball is the only sport where you can fail 70% and still be great.
- 😄 I throw shade like an umpire.
- 🤣 Who needs therapy when there’s batting practice?
🍻 Baseball Jokes for Adults
- 😂 I date outfielders—they cover all my issues.
- 😄 My batting average is lower than my standards.
- 🤣 I slide into home better than DMs.
- 😆 Baseball is the only place where it’s okay to steal—and drink.
- 😂 My glove’s not the only thing that’s worn out.
- 😄 I hit home runs and relationship walls.
- 🤣 Catchers are great—they always know what’s coming.
- 😆 My swing is like my dating life—lots of misses.
- 😂 I bring beer to practice—hydration is key.
- 😄 I told my date I play baseball—she asked if I had balls.
- 🤣 I only run bases after two shots.
- 😆 We practice safe slides.
- 😂 Baseball players know how to pitch… ideas on bad dates.
- 😄 I like my games long and my innings extra.
- 🤣 Warning: foul balls and dirty jokes ahead.
😈 Baseball Jokes Dirty
- 😂 He tried to steal second, but she tagged him out in bed.
- 😄 I’m great at hitting—it’s my pulling out that needs work.
- 🤣 I only bunt when I’m feeling soft.
- 😆 Her curves were harder to hit than a slider.
- 😂 Baseball and dating: all about bases.
- 😄 He asked if I wanted to pitch or catch.
- 🤣 I don’t do foul balls… only wild pitches.
- 😆 My glove’s not the only thing that gets some action.
- 😂 I swing both ways—left field and right.
- 😄 First base is for warmups.
- 🤣 Don’t let my bat size fool you.
- 😆 I slide into home like a pro—dirty and fast.
- 😂 She called me out… for not scoring.
- 😄 I play hardball in and out of the park.
- 🤣 My bat isn’t regulation size—but it gets the job done.
🧩 Short Baseball Jokes for Adults
- 😂 Why did the baseball player stay single? He couldn’t commit to first base.
- 😄 What’s a baseball player’s type? Curveballs.
- 🤣 Why was the pitcher fired? Too many balls.
- 😆 How do players flirt? They wink at the plate.
- 😂 Why did the batter get dumped? He couldn’t follow through.
- 😄 What’s the catcher’s motto? Always be ready.
- 🤣 I told my date I swing a big bat—she laughed.
- 😆 He tried to steal a kiss and got tagged out.
- 😂 My game plan includes bases and drinks.
- 😄 What’s an outfielder’s secret? Always play it safe.
- 🤣 I warm up better than I perform.
- 😆 A dirty mind makes a great base coach.
- 😂 Never trust a pitcher—too much spin.
- 😄 My only curve is the one life threw me.
- 🤣 Batting cages and bad decisions—my weekend plans.
🧨 Baseball Jokes One-Liners
- 😂 My glove has caught more lies than balls.
- 😄 I bunt so well, even life can’t strike me out.
- 🤣 Bat flips are my love language.
- 😆 My strike zone is commitment.
- 😂 I field life’s problems with grace… and a mitt.
- 😄 I’m out faster than a pop-up.
- 🤣 Baseball: where foul balls are expected.
- 😆 I pitch jokes better than fastballs.
- 😂 No hits, no worries—just beers.
- 😄 I’ve got 99 problems but a pitch ain’t one.
- 🤣 I tag out trouble at first glance.
- 😆 All I need is love… and a double play.
- 😂 Even my bat has trust issues.
- 😄 I play hard and nap harder.
- 🤣 Life threw a curve—I swung anyway.
🎯 Conclusion
Whether you’re swinging for laughs or sliding into someone’s DMs with humor, these baseball jokes hit it out of the park.
From classic dad quips to cheeky adult zingers, there’s something here for every fan of America’s pastime.
Keep the laughter going—and remember, the best plays often come with the best punchlines!
