Because Cake Isn’t the Only Thing That Should Make You Laugh! 🎂😂
Looking for the perfect birthday card that says “I remembered your big day… and still managed to roast you”? You’re in the right place! From laugh-out-loud puns to cheeky one-liners, these 300+ funny joke birthday cards are packed with humor that’s fresher than today’s memes.
Whether you’re going for sweet, dreadful or straight-up silly, there’s a card here that’ll leave them cracking up long after the candles are blown out!
😎 Dad Joke Birthday Cards
- 😂 I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
- 😅 You’re not old… you’re just well-seasoned.
- 😆 Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
- 🤣 You’re aging like milk—just kidding, you’re still sharp!
- 😜 What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
- 😁 I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
- 🤪 Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
- 😂 How do cows stay young? They moo-ve a lot!
- 😆 I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.
- 😝 You know you’re old when your candles cost more than the cake!
- 🤣 What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!
- 😅 Aging is mandatory, growing up is optional.
- 😂 Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
- 😄 You’re not old, you’re just… retro!
- 😜 Another year older? Time to embrace that dad bod!
😂 Funny Joke Birthday Cards
- 🤣 You’re not old, you’re 25 plus shipping and handling.
- 😆 Don’t worry, wrinkles are just smile lines in the wrong places.
- 😝 You age like a fine banana.
- 😂 Cake calories don’t count on your birthday.
- 🤪 Congrats on surviving another year without being abducted by aliens.
- 😅 Birthdays are like sneezes—better with friends and cake.
- 😄 You’re not getting older, just more distinguished…ly weird.
- 😜 You bring joy to everyone… when you leave the room.
- 😂 Here’s your annual reminder you’re closer to senior discounts.
- 🤣 At your age, naps are a gift, not a weakness.
- 😆 May your day be filled with cake and bad decisions.
- 😁 Don’t count the candles, just enjoy the glow.
- 😂 Another year, another excuse to not act your age.
- 😝 Smile! It’s your day to pretend you’re still young.
- 🤪 Party like your knees don’t hurt tomorrow!
🎈 Joke Birthday Cards for Him
- 😂 You still look great… from across the room… in the dark.
- 😆 You’re not losing hair—you’re gaining head.
- 😜 At your age, “rise and shine” means something different.
- 😝 Getting older is like leveling up—with more joint pain.
- 🤣 May your dad bod grow stronger each year!
- 😅 You’ve aged like fine whiskey… slightly burnt and always extra.
- 😂 Another year closer to those orthopedic shoes.
- 😆 Happy birthday! You’re now a classic… like VHS.
- 🤪 Don’t worry, bald is the new sexy.
- 😄 Your birthday suit could use a little ironing.
- 😜 You’re still hot—just in flashes.
- 🤣 You’re a real man of mystery… mostly about your age.
- 😝 Keep calm and remember where you left your glasses.
- 😂 Aging like a rockstar—louder and slightly offbeat.
- 😅 Hope your birthday is as solid as your hairline used to be.
😏 Dirty Joke Birthday Cards
- 😈 You’re like a birthday cake—moist, irresistible, and gone too fast.
- 😂 Let’s make this birthday dirtier than your search history.
- 😜 You put the “raunch” in “raunchy card.”
- 🤪 Getting older means more candles and less stamina.
- 😈 May your birthday be filled with adult decisions and bad ideas.
- 😆 You’re so old your safe word is “Ibuprofen.”
- 😂 Hope your birthday’s as dirty as your browser history.
- 😜 Still sexy… in a vintage kind of way.
- 😝 Blow out the candles—then I’ll blow your… mind!
- 😅 At your age, Netflix and chill turns into nap and Advil.
- 🤣 Here’s to another year of faking innocence.
- 😈 You’re not old, you’re just experienced… very experienced.
- 😜 Hope your day ends with candles and someone tied up!
- 😆 You age like a dirty meme—gets better every year.
- 😂 Happy birthday! Let’s get naughty… or nap.
🤓 Funny Dad Joke Birthday Cards
- 😅 I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
- 😂 Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- 😝 I ordered a chicken and an egg online… I’ll let you know.
- 🤣 Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- 😆 What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- 😜 I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- 😁 You’re not old, just older than dirt with a better Wi-Fi plan.
- 🤪 Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
- 😂 I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
- 😄 Want a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
- 😝 Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything!
- 😆 You still got it… somewhere… under all that back pain.
- 😅 Happy birthday! Now go do something you’ll regret—but take a nap first.
- 🤣 I’d tell you a birthday joke, but it’s a little mature for your age.
- 😜 Another year, another excuse for dad jokes!
🆓 Funny Birthday Cards (Free)
- 😂 Download this joke: You’re so old, your birth certificate says “expired.”
- 😆 Free smile with every birthday wish!
- 🤣 This card cost $0—just like your fashion sense.
- 😜 This card is free… just like your time now that you’re retired.
- 😅 Who needs money when you’ve got a sarcastic friend?
- 😂 This joke is 100% free, unlike your hair.
- 😝 Cheap card, rich humor.
- 😄 A priceless joke for a priceless friend.
- 🤪 Free printable joke: You’re not old, just heavily used.
- 😂 Save money, spend laughs.
- 😆 You’re the reason e-cards were invented.
- 😅 Here’s your free trial of laughter. No refunds.
- 🤣 Budget birthday, premium humor.
- 😜 This card cost nothing… just like your respect for bedtimes.
- 😂 Laughter is free—just like your birthday wish!
🤭 Rude Birthday Cards
- 😈 You’re not old… just prehistoric.
- 😝 Smile while you still have teeth.
- 😂 At your age, candles are a fire hazard.
- 😅 You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
- 🤪 Another year closer to “back in my day.”
- 😜 You’re so old, your blood type is discontinued.
- 🤣 You’re not ugly… just uniquely unfortunate.
- 😆 Remember when you were young and full of hope? Me neither.
- 😁 You’re proof that age doesn’t always come with wisdom.
- 😂 You’ve got something on your chin… no, the third one.
- 😝 So old you fart dust.
- 🤣 Congrats on another lap around the sun… now take a nap.
- 😈 Your face makes onions cry.
- 😅 I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
- 😂 You’re older than Google!
👯 Funny Birthday Cards for Friends
- 😂 Friends like you make getting old almost worth it.
- 🤪 You’re still younger than you’ll be tomorrow!
- 😆 Age is just a number… and yours is terrifying.
- 😝 You’re like a fine wine—cheap, boxed, and better with chips.
- 😜 Here’s to you: old, bold, and slightly moldy.
- 🤣 Our friendship is like this card—questionable but heartfelt.
- 😅 We’re at the age where “wild night” means staying up past 10.
- 😂 Happy birthday! Now act your shoe size.
- 😁 Another year, still no wisdom.
- 😆 You’re my favorite antique.
- 🤪 Your birthday gift? My presence and sarcasm.
- 😂 You’re still younger than your browser history suggests.
- 😄 If I had a dollar for every birthday you’ve had, I’d be rich… and so would you.
- 😜 Besties don’t let besties age alone.
- 🤣 Aging with friends makes it less weird—and more fun.
🎉 Conclusion
No matter the personality or age, joke birthday cards make birthdays brighter and much more entertaining. From dad jokes to dirty punchlines, the perfect laugh is just a card away. Choose your favorite from this collection and spread the joy—one joke at a time!
