Fatherās Day is here ā and you know what that means: itās time for those gloriously groan-worthy dad jokes to shine!
Whether your dadās a master of the pun, a king of the corny, or just loves making you laugh (and cringe), weāve rounded up 300+ of the most hilarious, eye-roll-inducing, and downright legendary dad jokes thatāll make this Fatherās Day un-fork-gettable.
From grill-side giggles to living room laugh attacks, these one-liners are guaranteed to bring the whole family together ā if only to say, āDadā¦ seriously?
āLooking for the perfect way to say āI love you, Dadā ā but with puns? Youāre in the right place!
This collection of over 300 dad jokes is stuffed with humor, heart, and just the right amount of cheesiness to make your Fatherās Day celebration totally un-fork-gettable. Get ready to laugh, groan, and maybe even snort.
Short Dad Joke for Father’s Day š
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I donāt know y.
- I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.
- Iām reading a book on anti-gravityāit’s impossible to put down.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- I asked the dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
- I don’t trust stairsāthey’re always up to something.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He woke up.
- What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow!
- I gave all my dead batteries awayā¦ free of charge.
- Want to hear a construction joke? Iām still working on it.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
Dad Joke for Father’s Day in English š¬š§
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Whatās orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- I used to hate facial hairā¦ but then it grew on me.
- Why donāt skeletons fight each other? They donāt have the guts.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? Iāll meet you at the corner.
- Whatās brown and sticky? A stick.
- Why did the golfer bring two pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, Iām not going to spread it.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, itās tearable.
- Why donāt scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
Dirty Dad Joke for Father’s Day š
- Why donāt ducks tell dirty jokes? Theyād quack up.
- I told my wife she was overreacting. She said, āThanks, Mr. Period!ā
- What did one saggy boob say to the other? āWe better get some support before people think weāre nuts.ā
- My wife asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasnāt peeling well.
- I tried to make a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
- I asked my wife to rate my performance in bed. She said, āJust for the record, Iāve had better.ā
- Whatās the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
- Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? The sports section is in the middle of the newspaper.
- I told my wife her underwear was too tight. She said, āYouāre wearing them.ā
- Whatās long and hard and makes women scream? Their wedding speech.
- Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? Because their balls fall over their butts and pull their lips shut.
- I walked in on my parents having sex. Worst two minutes of my life.
- Why do vegetarians give great oral? Theyāre used to eating nuts.
- I got caught watching porn at workā¦ I forgot I worked from home.
Best Dad Joke for Father’s Day š
- I only know three jokes about construction, but Iām still working on them.
- My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
- I bought shoes from a drug dealer onceā¦ I donāt know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
- Iām afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
- How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
- Parallel lines have so much in commonā¦ itās a shame theyāll never meet.
- I told my dad to embrace his mistakes. He cried. Then hugged me and my siblings.
- What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison.
- I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
- The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
- I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
- What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
- Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
- I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
- Iāve got a great joke about constructionā¦ but Iām still working on it.
Funny Dad Joke for Father’s Day š
- Whatās Forrest Gumpās password? 1forest1.
- I asked my dad for his best joke. He said, āYou.ā
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
- I used to be addicted to soap, but Iām clean now.
- Why donāt some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships donāt work out.
- Want to hear a joke about a roof? Never mind, itās over your head.
- Whatās ET short for? Because heās got little legs.
- Why did the man fall into the well? Because he couldnāt see that well.
- My dad said jokes about unemployed people aren’t funny. They just donāt work.
- What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
- I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didnāt like it.
- Iām so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, theyād be bagels.
- When two vegans get into an argument, is it still called a beef?
Conclusion š
This Father’s Day, skip the sentimental speech and give your dad what he really wantsāa solid laugh. Whether youāre going for quick chuckles, wholesome puns, or cheeky humor, these dad jokes bring just the right dose of dad-approved comedy. Use them in cards, texts, or toast to make his day brighter and funnier.
