Looking for a quick laugh? Just say Hey Siri, tell me a joke and let your virtual assistant tickle your funny bone! Whether you’re bored, curious, or trying to break the ice, Siri’s quirky humor is here to lighten your mood.
From clean jokes for all ages to cheeky one-liners that adults will appreciate, this list delivers something for everyone.
We’ve organized 15 jokes per category—TikTok hits, Reddit classics, English-only zingers, and more—so you can find the perfect giggle for your moment.
Read on, laugh out loud, and get your daily dose of Siri-powered fun!
Hey Siri Tell Me a Joke Today
😂 Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
😄 Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
🤣 What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
😆 Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
😁 Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
😹 What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
😂 What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
😄 Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
🤣 How do you organize a space party? You planet.
😆 Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
😁 What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
😹 Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
😂 How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
😄 Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
🤣 What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
Hey Siri Tell Me a Joke Please
😆 Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
😁 What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
😂 What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
🤣 Why was the math teacher late? She took the rhombus.
😄 What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
😹 Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
😆 How do cows do math? With a cow-culator.
😁 What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
😂 Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
🤣 What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
😄 How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
😹 What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
😆 Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
😁 Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
😂 What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
Hey Siri Tell Me a Joke in English
🤣 What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
😆 Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
😁 How does the ocean say hi? It waves.
😄 What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
😂 Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
😹 How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
🤣 What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
😆 Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.
😁 How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
😄 What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
😂 What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
😹 What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
🤣 Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
😆 What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
😁 What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
Hey Siri Tell Me a Joke TikTok
😂 Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
😄 What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
🤣 Why did the iPhone go to school? To improve its Siri-ous skills.
😆 How does Siri flirt? With Bluetooth pick-up lines.
😁 Why did Siri break up with Alexa? Too much cross-talking.
😹 What do you call a chicken who loves TikTok? A cluckfluencer.
😂 What do you call a cat that watches TikToks all day? A meow-th watcher.
😄 Why did the TikTok user bring a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house.
🤣 What do you call a viral banana? A-peel-ing content.
😆 Why was the phone acting drunk? Too many tabs open.
😁 What happens when Siri tries to rap? She drops “iBeats.”
😹 Why did the ring light quit its job? It couldn’t handle the spotlight.
😂 What did the WiFi say to the TikTok user? You complete me.
😄 What kind of phone does a TikTok ghost use? A phantom X.
🤣 Why did the TikTok video get detention? It was caught skipping class.
Hey Siri Tell Me a Joke Reddit
😆 Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
😂 Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache.
😄 Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can’t C#.
🤣 What’s a Redditor’s favorite tea? Conspiraci-tea.
😁 Why did the meme go to therapy? It had unresolved issues.
😹 How many Redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it’s already been posted.
😂 Why do Reddit threads always feel like déjà vu? Because they are.
😄 What’s a coder’s favorite joke? One that loops forever.
🤣 What did the subreddit say to the moderator? You’re too controlling.
😆 Why did the post go viral? It had all the right karma.
😁 Why did the cat meme win the internet? Pawsitively perfect timing.
😹 What do you get when you cross a Redditor with a stand-up comic? Upvotes for days.
😂 Why are programmers always calm? They handle exceptions well.
😄 What’s a Reddit ghost’s favorite forum? r/booooo.
🤣 Why did the bot get banned? It crossed the spam limit.
Hey Siri Tell Me a Joke Dirty
🙈 What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually look for a golf ball.
😉 Why don’t we ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
😏 What’s long and hard and full of seamen? A submarine.
🙊 Why did the adult book get a warning? Too much exposure.
😜 How is life like a toilet paper roll? The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
😅 What did one naughty wall say to the other? Let’s meet at the corner and hang out.
😈 Why did the underwear file a complaint? It was tired of being butt-hurt.
🙃 What’s something you can’t unsee? Your parents doing yoga… naked.
😉 What’s the difference between your job and your partner? After five years, one still sucks.
🙊 What did the sock say after a wild night? I think I lost my sole.
😏 Why was the bed so happy? It was getting laid.
😜 Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because they just read the same dirty joke over and over.
😈 What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
🙃 What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm… in bed.
😉 Why did the banana get embarrassed? It saw the peach naked.
Hey Siri Tell Me a Joke for Adults
🤣 I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.
😏 Marriage is when a man and woman become one… The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
😂 I asked Siri why I’m single. It turned on the front camera.
😅 My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.
😆 The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
😉 I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
🙃 I used to be indecisive—now I’m not so sure.
😄 A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.
🤣 I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him.
😂 I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
😏 My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
😅 Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
😉 My wife says I only have two flaws. I don’t listen and… something else.
😄 I’m on a whiskey diet—I’ve lost three days already.
🙃 My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
Conclusion
Whether you’re asking Siri for a wholesome giggle or something a bit cheekier, there’s a joke here for every mood and moment. Bookmark this list and laugh anytime—your digital comedian is just a Hey Siri away!
