Craving a crustacean chuckle? You’re in the right shell! Whether you’re into quirky stand-up references or classic sitcom banter, this collection of lobster jokes is tailor-made for fans of funny with a pinch of seafood. From rare blue lobsters to cheeky dirty bus stop humor, we’ve got something to tickle every funny bone. Dive in and enjoy 15 hilarious jokes under each theme—no claws for concern here, just pure laughter therapy. Perfect for sharing with friends, posting online, or simply having a laugh over dinner. Get ready to crack up—lobster-style!
💙 Blue Lobster Joke
🦞 Why did the blue lobster blush? Because it saw the crab strip off its shell!
🦞 Blue lobster tried stand-up comedy—it tanked.
🦞 My blue lobster left me. I guess he felt too rare to commit.
🦞 Why don’t blue lobsters play hide and seek? They always stand out.
🦞 Blue lobsters throw the coolest parties—literally.
🦞 Why did the blue lobster join therapy? Identity issues.
🦞 A blue lobster walked into a bar. The bartender said, “That’s shellfish behavior.”
🦞 Blue lobster’s Tinder bio: “One in two million—swipe right.”
🦞 Why did the chef cry over the blue lobster? He couldn’t handle rare beauty.
🦞 Blue lobster started a podcast: Shell Out Sessions.
🦞 Blue lobster got arrested—for being too chill.
🦞 Why did the blue lobster dump his girlfriend? She was too basic.
🎤 Iliza Shlesinger Lobster Joke
🦞 Iliza said her inner party goblin eats like a lobster—claws out, no shame.
🦞 “I’m not high-maintenance. I’m lobster at Red Lobster, not butter-dipped diva!
🦞 Iliza’s lobster dance: sideways, bitter, snappy.
🦞 “Lobster claws are like my trust issues—hard to break.”
🦞 “I’m the emotional support lobster—always dramatic and always red.”
🦞 Iliza: “He brought me lobster. I married him. Standards.”
🦞 “Why chase a man? Chase a lobster tail!”
🦞 “Lobsters mate for life, just like girls and Target runs.”
🦞 Iliza’s icon animal: a sarcastic lobster in a yoga class.
🦞 “I’m not high-strung, I’m lobster-strung—boiling point is default.”
🦞 “Ever tried to flirt while eating lobster? Sexy becomes seafood massacre.”
🦞 Iliza: “A lobster wouldn’t ghost you. He’d pinch and stay.”
🫶 Friends Lobster Joke
🦞 You’re my lobster—said every hopeless romantic since 1994.
🦞 Why did Ross love lobsters? They hold claws forever.
🦞 Monica served lobster. Chandler cried. Ross claimed it.
🦞 Rachel: “You think I’m your lobster? That’s seafood-level pressure!”
🦞 Joey tried eating a lobster—named it first, big mistake.
🦞 Phoebe saw lobsters kissing—called it destiny.
🦞 Ross’s lobster ran off—probably saw Emily.
🦞 Rachel: “If I’m his lobster, he better stop boiling me.”
🦞 Joey: “Lobsters… the pizza of the ocean.”
🦞 Monica taught lobster cracking like it was war.
🦞 “You can’t spell ‘lobster’ without ‘love’ and ‘ster’” – Phoebe logic.
🦞 Chandler: “I’ve dated some lobsters… emotionally unavailable with claws.”
🦞 Ross said “lobster” and Rachel’s heart snapped.
🦞 Phoebe: “My grandma was a lobster. Reincarnated.”
🦞 The gang agreed—lobsters are just dramatic shrimp.
🍁 Canadian Lobster Joke
🦞 Why did the Canadian lobster apologize? It bumped into seaweed.
🦞 Canadian lobsters wear toques underwater, eh?
🦞 What’s a lobster’s favorite hockey team? The Clawgary Flames.
🦞 A lobster in Nova Scotia is royalty.
🦞 Canadian lobster asked, “Wanna grab a poutine?”
🦞 Why don’t Canadian lobsters fight? They politely pinch.
🦞 You know you’re in Canada when even the lobsters say “sorry.”
🦞 The lobster sang O Canada before getting boiled.
🦞 Canadian lobsters love maple syrup on everything.
🦞 That lobster waved its claw like, “Hi, neighbour!”
🦞 Tim Hortons now serves lobster rolls—extra kindness included.
🦞 Canadian lobster broke up with its shrimp—too salty.
🦞 Why did the Canadian lobster move west? Better tides in BC, eh?
🦞 Canadian lobsters don’t scream—they politely steam.
🦞 Even lobster traps in Canada are bilingual.
🚫 Illegal Lobster Joke
🦞 That lobster was so shady, it wore sunglasses at night.
🦞 “Officer, I swear this lobster gave consent!”
🦞 Smuggling lobsters? That’s shell-trafficking.
🦞 Illegal lobsters hide in butter sauce.
🦞 Why did the lobster get arrested? Pinched someone at customs.
🦞 That lobster’s passport had claw prints all over it.
🦞 Lobster cartels? That’s deep-sea drama.
🦞 Illegal lobster ran faster than the chef.
🦞 Undercover lobsters wear seaweed suits.
🦞 Why are lobsters bad criminals? They leave clawprints.
🦞 The lobster’s alibi was full of holes—like Swiss seaweed.
🦞 Black-market butter for lobsters? That’s a thing.
🦞 Illegal lobster: “I didn’t ask to be rare.”
🦞 He’s not a lobster—he’s an escape artist with claws.
🦞 The shell police are cracking down hard this season.
🧾 The Office Lobster Joke
🦞 Dwight: “Lobsters are just the beet farmers of the sea.”
🦞 Michael: “I cooked a lobster once. It was… emotional.”
🦞 Jim left a lobster in Dwight’s desk drawer.
🦞 Pam drew a lobster. Everyone applauded. It was a fish.
🦞 Kevin ate an entire lobster shell. On purpose.
🦞 Angela considers lobsters unholy.
🦞 Creed sold black-market lobsters in the breakroom.
🦞 Michael tried to ride a lobster in a meeting metaphor.
🦞 Toby: “The lobster was not invited to the party.”
🦞 Andy serenaded a lobster. It pinched his nose.
🦞 Dwight: “I have the reflexes of a lobster—hyperalert and snappy.”
🦞 Meredith tried dating a lobster. Regrets were had.
🦞 Michael named his lobster “Employee of the Month.”
🦞 Kelly said, “I’m totally someone’s lobster. Probably Ryan’s.”
🦞 Jim: “I got you a lobster. It’s the new teapot.”
🚌 Dirty Bus Stop Lobster Joke
🦞 Saw a lobster at a bus stop—it was selling butter.
🦞 That lobster wasn’t waiting for a ride—it was casing wallets.
🦞 Lobster at a dirty bus stop? Shell of a story.
🦞 Why did the lobster cross the road? Missed the tide schedule.
🦞 Lobster said, “Got claws, will travel.”
🦞 Dirty bus stop lobster gave life advice—and hepatitis.
🦞 Lobster tried hitchhiking. Got picked up by a seafood truck.
🦞 Who needs Uber when you’re a lobster with street smarts?
🦞 The lobster smoked seaweed while waiting.
🦞 Lobster: “This stop smells fishy.”
🦞 A drunk crab tried to fight the bus stop lobster.
🦞 Lobster’s shell had graffiti: “Crack the system.”
🦞 Lobster charged $5 for pinches. Side hustle.
🦞 That lobster busked with a harmonica.
🦞 Lobster swore the bus was coming. It never did.
🍒 Busty Lobster Joke
🦞 That lobster had more curves than the ocean floor.
🦞 Busty lobster walked by—every clam dropped its shell.
🦞 Why did the busty lobster get banned from the aquarium? Too much shell cleavage.
🦞 Clams called her “Miss Deep Sea 2025.”
🦞 Busty lobster broke the internet—literally pinched the router.
🦞 She didn’t swim. She sashayed.
🦞 Busty lobster got a modeling gig—Vogue Underwater.
🦞 That lobster wasn’t serving seafood—she was serving looks.
🦞 The chef blushed while seasoning her.
🦞 “Is that natural shell?” the crab whispered.
🦞 Busty lobster’s TikTok? 3 million claws and counting.
🦞 She doesn’t boil—she steams with confidence.
🦞 That lobster’s walk should be illegal.
🦞 Mermaid envy level: Busty lobster.
🦞 Lobster runway = claws and curves.
🫶 Lobster Joke Friends
🦞 Why did the lobster join the group chat? For the clawsome memes.
🦞 Friends don’t let friends boil alone.
🦞 One lobster in the group is always late—still worth the wait.
🦞 We’re a group of weirdos—and one of us is a lobster.
🦞 Lobster brunch: awkward, messy, unforgettable.
🦞 Friends fight, lobsters pinch—it’s all love.
🦞 “You’re my lobster”—ultimate friend zone escape card.
🦞 That one lobster friend always flakes—literally molts.
🦞 Nothing bonds friends like cracking lobster shells and gossip.
🦞 Group photo ruined by the lobster blinking.
🦞 Lobster said, “You guys are my shell-mates.”
🦞 Who needs therapy? Just lobster night with friends.
🦞 That lobster’s jokes are clawful—but we still laugh.
🦞 Friends are the butter to your lobster.
🦞 One lobster, five friends, zero drama. (Okay, maybe one ex.)
🔚 Conclusion
From sitcom quotes to shady crustaceans at bus stops, this lobster joke collection is your ultimate seafood-themed comedy fix. Keep it light, share a laugh, and remember—true friends are always your lobsters.
