🧓450+ The Oldest “Your Mom” Jokes in History—Still Hilarious!

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Think “Your Mom” jokes are a modern thing? Think again! 😲 Long before memes, TikToks, and even Shakespeare, people were already roasting each other’s moms—and doing it with style.

In fact, the oldest recorded “your mom” joke dates back thousands of years to ancient Babylon (yes, really).

So, if you thought you were slick with your punchlines, wait till you see how the OGs did it.

From dusty scrolls to untamed zingers, these ancient burns prove that comedy might get old—but mom jokes never do.

Get ready to laugh through the ages! 🏛️🔥


Oldest Your Mom Joke Babylonian

📕 Your mom’s gossip started wars between city-states
🏺 Your mom was so old, she babysat Hammurabi
🎭 Your mom danced so poorly, statues turned to face the wall
🪔 Your mom’s bread was harder than the Code of Ur-Nammu
🏛️ Your mom was used as an example in law school tablets
🧱 Your mom’s voice cracked more than ancient clay tablets
⛩️ Your mom caused the first recorded “smite” in mythology
🔮 Your mom was blamed for the eclipse in 1900 BCE
🌪️ Your mom’s arrival caused a sandstorm in the ziggurat
🦴 Your mom’s sandals are on display in Mesopotamian museums
🔥 Your mom once burnt down a village with her stew
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Oldest Your Mom Joke in History

🏛️ Your mom was the reason they built city walls
📚 Your mom’s love letters are now national relics
🔔 Your mom rang the Liberty Bell—by yelling
⚖️ Your mom’s testimony made the Hammurabi code necessary
⛏️ Your mom invented sarcasm during a stone fight
🧭 Your mom gave directions in hieroglyphics
🌄 Your mom posed for the first cave painting
🌍 Your mom remembers when continents split
🪓 Your mom taught Neanderthals how to roll their eyes
🏹 Your mom gave dating tips to Helen of Troy
🎺 Your mom blew the horn that fell Jericho
🧪 Your mom brewed the first potion—by accident
🗿 Your mom once told a joke that cracked a monolith


Oldest Your Mom Joke Translation

📜 Your mom’s face launched a thousand goats
🪶 Your mom was declared “the curse of Babylon” in cuneiform
🧂 Your mom’s seasoning was listed as a war crime
🍖 Your mom was mocked in the Epic of Gilgamesh
🎣 Your mom fished with her bare sarcasm
🌬️ Your mom was mentioned in a wind complaint scroll
🧊 Your mom was used as a threat in cold-weather prayers
💼 Your mom was the subject of an ancient HR complaint
📉 Your mom’s advice caused economic collapse in 1750 BCE
🧮 Your mom confused scribes with her math
👁️ Your mom’s eye rolls were recorded as omens
🩻 Your mom was the first example of “bad posture” in art
🍷 Your mom’s wine turned back into vinegar


World’s Oldest Your Mom Joke

📏 Your mom was called “long of tongue, short of wisdom”
🧱 Your mom cracked the wall with her bedtime stories
🚽 Your mom was referenced in the first recorded bathroom graffiti
🏹 Your mom was a moving target in archery training
📯 Your mom was declared “too loud” by Mesopotamian priests
🗡️ Your mom’s roast caused a royal duel
🔍 Your mom’s fashion confused archaeologists
📺 Your mom had a recurring role in ancient plays—as the villain
💣 Your mom’s attitude was described as “civil unrest”
🪞 Your mom’s mirror cracked from fear
🎭 Your mom starred in clay puppet shows—unintentionally
🕯️ Your mom was used as an example in ancient sarcasm school
⛈️ Your mom was accused of summoning storms through nagging


What Did the Oldest Your Mom Joke Say

📜 Your mom is “fat and by the way, has never once made me dinner”—circa 1900 BCE Babylon
🏺 “Your mom has the face that curdled the goat’s milk”
🐪 “Your mom causes more traffic than the king’s caravan”
🦴 “Your mom’s snoring scares off spirits”
📖 “Your mom has a scroll of excuses”
💤 “Your mom rests longer than the gods do”
🔥 “Your mom’s breath lit the altar”
🪔 “Your mom is why we pray for patience”
💩 “Your mom’s jokes stink worse than the stables”
🥴 “Your mom spins worse tales than the town drunk”
⚒️ “Your mom ruined the tools—just by touching them”


Oldest Your Mom Joke Babylonian Tablet

🪵 Your mom was scribbled on with “handle with sarcasm”
🔍 Your mom is the first known burn victim—in clay
🧱 Your mom’s name appears in tablet footnotes—next to curses
🕵️ Your mom’s joke confused British Museum translators
🪨 Your mom was scratched out—too spicy for 1900 BCE
📦 Your mom was archived under “don’t repeat”
🛕 Your mom’s reputation predates the tablet itself
🧊 Your mom was noted in ice-age reenactments
⚠️ Your mom triggered the first known complaint form
📜 Your mom has her own corner in ancient joke libraries
🧩 Your mom’s joke remains unsolved by scholars


The Oldest Your Mom Joke

📖 Written around 1900 BCE on a Babylonian tablet
🪔 Delivered in cuneiform—history’s first recorded burn
🧱 Possibly used in ancient comedy duels
📚 Found in the collection of British Museum’s joke tablets
🏺 Addresses maternal weight and food—with zero chill
🧠 Scholars call it “the first known example of offensive humor”
🛑 It predates the invention of the alphabet
🧩 Still debated for its full translation
🗣️ Possibly spoken during beer-fueled banquets
🛕 Shows ancient humor was as untamed as ours
📆 Over 3900 years old
🧪 Underwent restoration—because people care about ancient burns
🧿 Proof your mom jokes are immortal


What Is the Oldest Your Mom Joke

🕰️ Dated to 1900 BCE
🧱 Originated in Mesopotamia
📄 Written on a clay tablet
🪶 Used metaphor and insult
📜 Mocked someone’s mother’s cooking and size
🧠 Proves humor is deeply human
🧮 Part of an ancient riddle collection
🛕 Possibly performed in temples
🗺️ Found in modern-day Iraq
📖 Listed in archaeology journals as world’s oldest joke
🧰 Studied in humor and linguistics courses
🛢️ Associated with Sumerian oil lamp jokes
🪔 The punchline is dry—literally


What Was the Oldest Your Mom Joke

📜 “Your mother is fat and has never even baked me a loaf”—ouch
🧱 Found on a 1900 BCE Babylonian tablet
🪔 Considered world’s oldest joke
🧠 Featured in “Wisdom of Khakheperresenb” texts
📚 First known written insult
🛕 Possibly performed before kings
🗿 One of the earliest signs of human sarcasm
📖 Connected to Sumerian humor traditions
🧂 The joke blends food and insult—classic combo
🗓️ Nearly 4000 years old
🛠️ Crude by today’s standards—but effective
🔍 Helped shape historical humor studies
🧵 Still quoted in modern comedy lectures


Conclusion

The oldest your mom joke proves humor is timeless—and untamed. From Babylonian clay to modern memes, roasting moms has stood the test of time.

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