Whether you’re rocking a handlebar, a horseshoe, or just a five o’clock shadow, there’s one thing we can all agree on—mustaches are hilarious.
From punny one-liners to hairy punchlines that’ll curl your whiskers, this ultimate collection of 300+ mustache jokes is groomed to perfection.
Perfect for Movember, your next dad joke battle, or just to get a good laugh in front of the mirror.
So comb through the list and prepare to twirl with laughter—because these jokes are more legendary than a 70s cop ‘stache!
What did the beard say to the mustache joke
🧔 You’re just the warm-up act
🧔 Stay in your lane, lip fuzz
🧔 Without me, you’re just a hairline crack
🧔 You tickle people, I impress them
🧔 Real estate above the lips is cheap
🧔 You’re the appetizer, I’m the full-course
🧔 I grow down to earth, you stay stuck up
🧔 Keep dreaming, shadow
🧔 At least I don’t catch soup
🧔 Face it, you’re only half the man
🧔 When you grow up, you might be a beard
🧔 You wish you could cover this much ground
🧔 One sneeze and you’re gone
🧔 You’re the stache, I’m the statement
🧔 I handle the chin; you just tickle the truth
Mustache joke one liner
😂 I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later
😂 My mustache brings all the stares to the yard
😂 Handlebar mustaches – because straight lines are boring
😂 I grow it so I don’t blow it
😂 Life’s too short to shave
😂 My mustache is on a growth journey
😂 Mustaches: the original lip covers
😂 Not just facial hair – it’s upper lip armor
😂 Grow it and they will stare
😂 Whisker me away to the barbershop
😂 Fear the stache
😂 This is not a phase – it’s a follicle lifestyle
😂 My mustache has a better personality than most people
😂 I speak fluent stache
Knock knock mustache joke
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Mustache
Mustache who?
Mustache you a question but I’ll shave it for later
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Hair
Hair who?
Hair we go again with mustache jokes
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Barber
Barber who?
Barber you glad I trimmed my mustache?
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Stubble
Stubble who?
Stubble over here to admire my mustache
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Whisker
Whisker who?
Whisker me luck with this mustache
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Comb
Comb who?
Comb on, admire this mustache
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Smooth
Smooth who?
Smooth talker with a slick mustache
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Curl
Curl who?
Curl you see my mustache twirl?
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Beard
Beard who?
Beard you believe this mustache is natural?
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Grow
Grow who?
Grow up and get a mustache like mine
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Lip
Lip who?
Lip me tell you about my mustache
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Brush
Brush who?
Brush it off – it’s just mustache envy
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Twist
Twist who?
Twist and shout for my mustache
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Nose
Nose who?
Nose my mustache is iconic
🚪 Knock knock
Who’s there?
Wig
Wig who?
Wig out over this mustache style
Mustache jokes dirty
😈 My mustache isn’t the only thing that curls under pressure
😈 This stache has seen more lip action than ChapStick
😈 Mustache rides: one seat, unlimited screams
😈 I keep my secrets under my mustache
😈 What happens under the mustache stays under the mustache
😈 You stroke my stache, I’ll stroke your ego
😈 It’s not just thick – it’s skilled
😈 This mustache knows how to handle curves
😈 Beard may talk, but mustache whispers dirty
😈 Kiss me – I’ve got flavor
😈 This stache doesn’t just tickle, it teases
😈 Warning: contact with mustache may cause sudden blushing
😈 I grow it long for a reason
😈 Handlebar? More like hand-le-bae
😈 This facial fuzz knows no boundaries
Mustache jokes dirty reddit
🔥 My stache gets more karma than my posts
🔥 Someone on r/confessions said they fell for a mustache… I just smiled and twirled
🔥 Reddit’s down? No worries, my mustache always has threads
🔥 r/relationships tip: compliment the mustache before confessing your sins
🔥 Mustache jokes on Reddit: 90% pun, 10% innuendo
🔥 My mustache is the real mod around here
🔥 I grew my stache for No Shave November, now it runs an AMA
🔥 It’s not creepy if the mustache has Reddit gold
🔥 I posted a mustache pic, and now I’m on r/Thirsty
🔥 My mustache has a following on r/HairySituations
🔥 Found on Reddit: “Is your mustache single?”
🔥 Someone DMed my mustache, not me
Adult mustache jokes
🍷 My mustache pays rent with charm
🍷 This facial hair comes with maturity – and sarcasm
🍷 If you think mustaches are old school, wait till you see my moves
🍷 Behind every confident man is a well-groomed mustache
🍷 My mustache and I are in a committed relationship
🍷 It’s not about age, it’s about follicular wisdom
🍷 They say dress for the job – I say grow a stache for the lifestyle
🍷 My stache doesn’t lie, it just bends the truth
🍷 The only grooming I trust – whiskey and a comb
🍷 Some drink wine, I twirl my mustache and sip wisdom
🍷 Ladies love a man who speaks fluent mustache
🍷 This stache has more layers than your therapist’s notes
🍷 Real adults measure time in beard oil bottles
🍷 Every gray hair in my stache is a story
🍷 I don’t chase – I comb
Bad mustache jokes
🙈 My mustache walked into a bar… and got carded
🙈 I asked my mustache for advice – it ghosted me
🙈 I tried to braid my mustache and tied it in regret
🙈 Mustache tried stand-up… got booed by eyebrows
🙈 My mustache wanted to be a model – it only got mugshots
🙈 It curled up and quit
🙈 My stache joined a boy band called “No Direction”
🙈 I named it Steve – now it wants a raise
🙈 My mustache went viral… for being an accident
🙈 It tried Tinder – got swiped left by a goatee
🙈 Even my cat laughed at my mustache
🙈 Mustache tried to get into Harvard – rejected for lack of facial expression
🙈 It joined a yoga class and got tangled
🙈 It once got stuck in a harmonica
🙈 I entered a mustache contest… finished dead last
Mustache jokes reddit
📱 Saw a mustache roast on r/roastme – it curled up and left
📱 My mustache AMA got more comments than my wedding post
📱 One Redditor said my mustache is the peak of male evolution
📱 Posted a selfie – someone said my mustache deserves a subreddit
📱 Reddit asked if it’s real – even my mirror’s not sure
📱 Someone said it looks like two caterpillars cuddling
📱 r/funny voted my stache joke of the week
📱 Got DMs for a tutorial – I just said genetics and grooming
📱 Found a twin stache in r/doppelganger
📱 My stache got called “Too Much Man”
📱 Asked Reddit: beard or stache? Got banned for splitting the community
📱 Someone wrote a poem about my facial hair – I cried
📱 Reddit’s favorite reply: “Grow on, you legend”
📱 My stache’s side hustle? Reddit mod
📱 One award? Nah. My mustache got platinum
Conclusion
Whether you’re tickling the funny bone with clean quips or diving into edgier stache banter, these mustache jokes prove humor never goes out of style – it just grows on you.
Keep twirling, keep laughing, and may your mustache always be glorious.
