Whether you’re stuck in a traffic jam or just chilling at a snail’s pace, these 300+ snail jokes are here to slime their way into your funny bone.
From puns that creep up on you to shell-shocking punchlines, this collection proves you don’t have to be fast to be funny.
Get ready to laugh so hard, even the snails will hear it—eventually.Snails may be slow, but these jokes are fast-trending.
🐌 Scroll through 300+ slime-coated, shell-tastic puns that are built to make you LOL at every pace.
🐌 Snail Joke What Did You Do That For
- 😂 The snail got slapped by a turtle and said what did you do that for the turtle replied sorry I’m still mad from last week
- 😂 I kicked a snail and a year later it showed up at my door yelling what did you do that for
- 😂 A snail bumps into me five days ago and only now says what did you do that for
- 😂 Knock knock who’s there snail snail who what did you do that for
- 😂 My snail looked at me funny so I said what did you do that for and it slowly slithered away offended
- 😂 A man stepped on a snail and a week later the snail shouts what did you do that for
- 😂 A snail tripped over a pebble and yelled at the rock what did you do that for
- 😂 I moved my snail’s shell and it screamed what did you do that for I’m exposed
- 😂 The snail refused to go out in the rain yelling at the sky what did you do that for
- 😂 A snail saw his reflection and screamed what did you do that for to the mirror
- 😂 My pet snail sulked for hours after I poked it and whispered what did you do that for
- 😂 I turned the snail’s leaf upside down and it hissed what did you do that for
- 😂 The snail crawled across salt and shouted at the sidewalk what did you do that for
- 😂 After dropping the snail in the garden, it screamed what did you do that for you monster
- 😂 Snail gets flicked off a porch and five days later knocks saying what did you do that for
🐚 Snail Jokes One Liners
- 🐌 I saw a snail on a skateboard — now that’s what I call escargot-go
- 🐌 My snail runs marathons, but only if the course is a straight line and downhill
- 🐌 I told a snail a joke once — it got it a week later
- 🐌 Snails hate speed dating — too much pressure
- 🐌 I tried racing my snail, but it kept taking shellfies
- 🐌 Snails don’t rush — they glide with pride
- 🐌 I bought my snail a treadmill — now it just naps on it
- 🐌 Why did the snail cross the road slowly… because it’s a snail
- 🐌 Snail Wi-Fi is slow, but its slime-mail is even slower
- 🐌 A snail’s favorite sport? Slime-diving
- 🐌 Snail tried to rob me — slowest heist ever
- 🐌 My snail is a rebel — ditched its shell and went streaking
- 🐌 I put a spoiler on my snail’s shell, now it’s faster
- 🐌 Snail’s motto: if you can’t beat ‘em, slime ‘em
- 🐌 I hired a snail to deliver mail — bad idea
🍷 Snail Jokes for Adults
- 😏 My snail left me a trail of messages… turns out it was just drunk texting
- 😏 Snails make terrible lovers… they always come too slow
- 😏 Took my snail to the club — it slimed on the dance floor
- 😏 Snails don’t cheat — they just take forever to leave
- 😏 I asked the snail what turns it on — it said garlic butter
- 😏 Snail dates are intense… 10 hours of eye contact
- 😏 Snail pickup line: you look like you could handle my pace
- 😏 My snail called in sick… said it had a hang-shell
- 😏 Snails don’t ghost — they just vanish over 6 months
- 😏 Snail roleplay is just slowly undressing
- 😏 Snail said it’s not into speed… just long, slow moves
- 😏 I met a snail on Tinder — our first date is next year
- 😏 I lit candles for my snail, it thought it was a funeral
- 😏 The snail flirted saying, I’ve got slime for days
- 😏 Snails make terrible roommates — too much trail drama
🤭 Dirty Snail Jokes
- 😈 My snail got arrested… too much public slime affection
- 😈 Why did the snail get kicked out of the spa? Left a sticky mess
- 😈 I found my snails doing the slow and slippery tango
- 😈 Snails don’t do quickies… they do decade-long encounters
- 😈 I asked my snail its favorite position — it said under a leaf
- 😈 That snail’s not shy — it shell-abrates everywhere
- 😈 Snails use slime… for everything
- 😈 I saw snails grinding… thought it was a mating ritual
- 😈 Snails don’t whisper dirty — they whisper moistly
- 😈 My snail moaned when I touched its antenna
- 😈 Caught snails making out… their shells were fogged up
- 😈 That snail’s a freak — it leaves trails for strangers
- 😈 Snails got a dating app — it’s called Slowly
- 😈 My snail wears latex… leaves no mess
- 😈 I asked my snail for a kiss… now I’m stuck to it
🐾 Short Snail Jokes
- 🐌 Why did the snail buy a car? To slow it down
- 🐌 What’s a snail’s favorite dish? Fast food
- 🐌 Where do snails live? In the slow lane
- 🐌 What did the snail say on the turtle’s back? Wheee
- 🐌 How do snails fight? With shell-smacks
- 🐌 What’s a snail’s favorite ride? The Ferris Slow
- 🐌 Why did the snail fail the test? It took too long
- 🐌 What sound does a snail make? Slop
- 🐌 Why don’t snails do interviews? Too shy
- 🐌 What’s the snail’s life motto? Slow and curious
- 🐌 Why did the snail go on strike? No slime benefits
- 🐌 What does a snail drink? Slug-shakes
- 🐌 What’s a snail’s favorite band? Slowplay
- 🐌 Why are snails good at yoga? They’re flexible
- 🐌 What’s a snail’s favorite dessert? Slime pie
😎 Snail Jokes One Liners for Adults
- 🍷 My snail’s safe word is escargone
- 🍷 Took a snail to bed… longest night of my life
- 🍷 Snail’s not clingy — it’s just stuck
- 🍷 Snails dirty talk in Morse slime
- 🍷 A snail’s idea of foreplay? Three hours of antenna touching
- 🍷 Snails don’t sext — they slime-mail
- 🍷 I dated a snail — left a trail of red flags
- 🍷 My snail drinks — turns into a slippery flirt
- 🍷 Snail’s guilty pleasure? Midnight sliming
- 🍷 Snail parties are wild — very little movement, lots of moaning
- 🍷 Snails cuddle for weeks
- 🍷 My snail winked — took 10 minutes
- 🍷 Snail striptease involves zero pace, full grace
- 🍷 Snail kinks? Leaf bondage
- 🍷 Snails don’t cheat — they just slime around
🧂 Short Snail Jokes for Adults
- 🐚 My snail’s safe word is “salt”
- 🐚 Asked the snail to move faster — now I’m ghosted
- 🐚 That snail’s into shell play
- 🐚 Caught my snail watching slow-motion soap operas
- 🐚 Snail moaned for 30 minutes — just to blink
- 🐚 Snail pickup line? Wanna slime together
- 🐚 My snail’s favorite toy? A cucumber
- 🐚 Snail date nights take 4 hours — just to say hello
- 🐚 A snail’s idea of naughty? Skipping the shell
- 🐚 Snail’s dirty secret? Late night slime parties
- 🐚 My snail sent me a leaf pic — scandalous
- 🐚 Snails love wine — but hate hang-shells
- 🐚 Caught my snail using garlic butter… self-care or self-love?
- 🐚 Snails roleplay as slugs — it’s wild
- 🐚 My snail said talk slime to me
🐌 Conclusion
Whether you’re after a laugh, a groan, or a blush, snail jokes never fail to deliver in the slowest — and silliest — way possible.
From clean humor to cheeky grown-up lines, this collection proves that snails may move slowly, but their comedy hits fast.
Share these with friends or save them for a rainy day when you need that slow-burn chuckle. 🐌✨
Jon Arnold is a passionate writer and humor enthusiast who loves breaking down funny moments, memes, and quirky jokes for readers of all ages. With a knack for making complex ideas simple and entertaining, Jon shares his witty insights on everything from text slang to pop culture laughs. You can find all of his playful, pun-filled content at jokesplanets.com, where he keeps smiles, giggles, and good vibes coming every day.
