Looking to lighten the mood this February 14th? Whether you’re taken, single, or somewhere in between, nothing says “I love you” like a perfectly corny Valentine’s Day dad joke.
These groan-worthy gems are ideal for dads, pun lovers, and anyone who wants to trade romance for laughter.
From Cupid quips to knock-knock classics, this collection will help you break the ice, make your date laugh, or survive the day solo with a smile.
Ready to fall in love—with humor? Here are the best Valentine’s jokes to make hearts skip a beat (or roll their eyes).
Valentine’s Jokes for Adults
🍷 You must be Wi-Fi because I’m feeling a strong connection.
💋 You had me at “I’m bringing snacks.”
🍫 Love is sweet, but have you tried chocolate?
🍸 I love you more than happy hour—and that’s saying something.
🧀 You’re the cheese to my awkward pickup line.
🛏️ Our love is like a blanket—comfortable, warm, and covered in cat hair.
📺 Are you Netflix? Because I could watch you for hours and still fall asleep halfway.
📱 Let’s make it official—change your relationship status to “Taken by this legend.”
🎯 Love is blind, but you clearly have great taste.
🎮 Our love is like a co-op game—better with teamwork and occasional rage quits.
💍 I’d marry you, but my sweatpants said it’s not that serious.
🛒 I found love in aisle five—next to the frozen pizza.
🔒 You’re the password to my heart, even if I keep forgetting it.
🛁 You’re the bubble bath I never knew I needed.
🍕 Roses are red, pizza is too—let’s just stay home, me and you.
Valentines Day Jokes for Singles
🙋 Single? That just means you don’t have to share your fries.
📺 My Valentine is Netflix and we’re very serious.
🍕 Love is in the air? Nope, that’s pizza.
🚫 I put the “no” in monogamy.
🍫 I’m not alone—I have chocolate.
🐈 My cat gave me the cold shoulder again.
🍷 My Valentine is a wine bottle and it listens.
💔 Cupid’s arrow must’ve bounced off my hoodie.
📞 I called love. It went to voicemail.
🛏️ Sleeping in alone > awkward dinner for two.
🎁 Gifted myself self-respect this year.
📉 My dating life is like a graph of crypto.
🍿 Just me, snacks, and no emotional baggage.
🏆 Award for Best Supporting Single goes to… me!
📦 Ordered a date online. Got socks.
Knock Knock Valentine Jokes One-Liners
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
❤️ Olive
💌 Olive who?
Olive you and I’m not afraid to say it!
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🧀 Brie
💌 Brie who?
Brie mine forever!
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🍯 Honey
💌 Honey who?
Honey, I’m sweet on you.
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🍌 Banana
💌 Banana who?
Banana split without you.
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🧡 Orange
💌 Orange who?
Orange you glad we’re valentines?
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🎈 Howard
💌 Howard who?
Howard you like to be my Valentine?
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🐝 Bee
💌 Bee who?
Bee mine, cutie!
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🍓 Berry
💌 Berry who?
Berry glad I found you.
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
📦 Amazon
💌 Amazon who?
Amazon you kisses.
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
💋 Kiss
💌 Kiss who?
Kiss me, maybe?
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🥜 Nut
💌 Nut who?
Nut sure what I’d do without you.
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🎨 Art
💌 Art who?
Art you gonna be my Valentine or what?
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
📖 Read
💌 Read who?
Read-y for love!
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
💌 Love
💌 Love who?
Love me or leave me.
🚪 Knock knock
👤 Who’s there?
🎹 Piano
💌 Piano who?
Piano-ing for your love.
Valentine’s Day Jokes and Riddles
❓ Why did the tomato turn red on Valentine’s Day?
🍅 It saw the salad dressing.
❓ What did one light bulb say to the other?
💡 I love you a watt.
❓ Why was Cupid arrested?
🏹 He was caught shooting arrows without a permit.
❓ What do you call two birds in love?
🐦 Tweethearts.
❓ What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
🧲 I find you very attractive.
❓ What did the stamp say to the envelope?
✉️ I’m stuck on you.
❓ Why did the boy bring a ladder to his Valentine?
🪜 He was falling for her.
❓ How did the phone propose?
📱 With a ring!
❓ Why did the skeleton skip Valentine’s dinner?
💀 He didn’t have the guts.
❓ What’s the most romantic part of the eye?
👁️ The pupil—it always dilates when it sees the one.
❓ What did one flame say to the other?
🔥 We’re a perfect match.
❓ Why did the cookie cry?
🍪 Because it was feeling crumby without love.
❓ What does a vampire say on Valentine’s Day?
🧛 Be my valen-bite.
❓ What’s a ghost’s favorite Valentine dessert?
👻 Boo-berries and scream.
❓ How do farmers flirt?
🌽 They say “You make my heart beet.”
Cupid Jokes One-Liners
🏹 Cupid must be tired—he’s been missing me for years.
❤️ Cupid called. Said I was too much of a challenge.
🎯 Cupid hit me with a refund request.
💘 Cupid’s aim is worse than my ex’s taste.
🧃 Cupid and I are taking a break—it’s not him, it’s me.
🏹 Cupid needs laser guidance.
🍫 Cupid delivers chocolate, not compatibility.
💞 Cupid swiped left.
🫠 Cupid’s arrows feel like taxes—unexpected and painful.
🩹 Cupid should offer emotional insurance.
🔫 Cupid’s playing darts while blindfolded.
🤕 Cupid hit my inbox, not my heart.
🧷 Cupid needs a permit for emotional damage.
📉 Cupid’s track record is worse than mine.
🥽 I need armor—Cupid’s shots keep missing and bouncing back.
Short Valentine’s Jokes for Adults
🍸 You had me at “There’s wine.”
🛏️ Let’s make this a Netflix and absolutely no chill night.
🍕 I love you more than extra cheese.
🧀 You’re grate. Seriously.
📦 Our love is like Amazon—fast, addictive, and always on my porch.
💋 You kiss like you mean it. I eat like I mean it. Match made.
🎮 You press my buttons—mostly the good ones.
🍫 Love is sweet, but so is chocolate. I’ll take both.
👀 You had me at your search history.
🐾 Let’s stay in and pet the dog instead.
🧼 You clean up nice—for a human.
🕹️ I’d pause my game for you… briefly.
🧦 Our love is like socks—always gets lost, but somehow returns.
📺 Our story is satiate -worthy.
🚪 You had me at “I locked the door, snacks ready.”
Conclusion
Whether you’re sharing the love, laughing alone, or trying to charm your Valentine with the world’s finest dad jokes, this collection brings puns, laughter, and heartwarming humor for every kind of relationship status.
From knock-knock giggles to Cupid one-liners, these jokes prove that love and laughter go hand in hand.
